MY FATHER RAISED ME ON LAW AND ORDER
HE LOOKED AT OUR CATOONS AND WAS LIKE
FUCK YOU
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE
AND WHEN WE STARTED CRYING
HE LOOKED US DEAD IN THE EYE AND SHOUTED
TAKE IT LIKE A MAN
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
HIS BEARD GREW AND TURNED WHITE
AND HE MAGICALLY HAD ONE LEG
AND THEN WE WERE ON A BOAT MOTHER FUCKER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN
AND THERE WAS A HARPOON IN MY FATHERS HAND
AND HE TOLD US
-dramatic pause-
SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER
WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE
BREAK YOUR BACKS AND CRACK YOUR OARS MEN
IF YOU WISH TO PREVAIL
THIS IVORY LEG IS WHAT PROPELS ME
HARPOONS THRUST IN THE SKY
AIM DIRECTLY FOR HIS CROOKED BROW
AND LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE
WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAIL
AND WITH THAT HE STABBED MY UNCLE
AND MY BROTHER AND I SCREAMED
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
THE END
-leaves-